CHRISTIAN – A believer in CHRIST JESUS, one who has accepted Jesus as Lord and savior and is living the life and not a lie.
HER HUSBAND: – The one she is married to.
HER EXPECTATIONS
1. Gen 2v23-24 – leaving and cleaving
The Christian wife expects her husband to obey this Biblical injunction. Her expectation in this regard is that she and her husband will be so closely knitted together in body, soul and Spirit that all others will become outsiders to the marriage union.
2. Eph 5v25-28 – Sacrificial loving and giving.
In this regard she:-
a. Expects her husband to love her sacrificially as Christ loved the Church.
b. Expects her husband to love her as he loves himself. The word of God says that no man hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it even as Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church (see Eph 5v29). When you love your wife, you love yourself.
3. Roms 12v16 – Condescension (mind not high things)
She expects her husband to give her some credit and to be of the same mind with her. Husband please don’t think you know it all, they are valuable contributions your wives can give to issues too.
4. Phil 2v3 – Consideration
She expects her husband to be considerate towards her. Husband don’t be selfish and self centered, enter into the world of your wife, honor and esteem her. The word of God says “Think of others (including your wife) as better than yourself.”
The message Bible translation of Phil 2v3 says “put yourself aside…………. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” Husband lend a helping hand always to your wife.
5. Eph 4v2 – forbearance
She expects her husband to be humble, gentle and patient towards her, making allowances for her faults because of his love for her.
6. Col 4v6 – Good and soothing communication.
She expects her husband to communicate with her graciously and sensibly not angrily, nor bitterly nor condescendingly. Husband please try to bring out the best in your wife in conversation, don’t put your wife down or bully her, don’t cut her out through your harsh words.
7. Eph 4v3 – consensus in family financing.
She expects her husband to be subject to the leadership of the Holy Spirit even in the area of family finances. She expects that her husband will give the Holy Spirit His pride of place in the family so that the peace of God will reign supreme in the home.
She expects both of them to plan their finances together and that the issue of finances will not cause any rancor.
8. Rom 12v9 – Transparency and honesty.
She expects that in her relationship with her husband, there will be no lies, no hiding, no hypocrisy, and no pretence.
Husband Please don’t betray the trust of your wife, be truthful and open to her, trust her, don’t just pretend to love her, really love her and show her that you do.
9. Gal 6v2 – Bearing her burdens.
She expects that her husband will help her to bear some of the burdens of home – making. She expects her husband to share her troubles and challenges with her by helping her practically in any way he can to ease them and praying with her and for her, (Standing in the gap). “Share each others troubles and burdens and so obey our Lord’s command if any one thinks he is too great to stoop to this, he is fooling himself, he is really a nobody.” (Gal 6v2 NLT Bible) Husband be your wife’s hero, her knight in shinning armor, be there for her.
10. Prov 22v6, Eph 6v4, Gen 18v19 – Harmony in child training.
She expects that her husband will partner with her in the bringing up of their children in the way of the Lord. God gave a good testimony about Abraham. Husband don’t be too busy to be of any value to your family and don’t be too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good. Children are the Lords heritage, they are given to you on trust please don’t betray the Lords trust in you. Give your family quality time and don’t leave the up bringing of your children to your wife alone. “Teach a child to choose the right path and when he is older he will remain upon it.”
11. Col 3v16 – Praying and sharing scriptures together morning and evening.
She expects that she and her husband will have times of fellowship and refreshing together. She expects that Gods words will enrich their lives and make them wise. She expects that she and her husband will make out time to spend together in teaching and admonishing each other in Psalms, hymns and the word of God.
In one word The Christian wife expects from her husband TOGETHERNESS. She expects him to give attention to her welfare, love and assist her, respect her feelings, celebrate her, take time out to be with her, listen to her views being understanding of her and tolerant with her.
TEN EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.
1. Admiration
2. Affection – Expression of love
3. Domestic support
4. Family commitment
5. Financial Support
6. Honesty and openness
7. Physical attractiveness
8. Conversation
9. Recreation companionship.
10. Sexual fulfillment.
The way to be fulfilled in marriage is to meet the needs that are most important to each other.
HER BASIC RESPONSIBILITIES
1. To fulfill the role of a help meet Gen 2:8.
2. Reverence, love and honor for her husband
a. Titus 2:5 – Managing her home, living quietly.
b. Loving her husband and children. Titus 2v4
c. Spending time in her own home. Titus 2v5
d. Being kind and obedient to her own husband. 1 Pet 3v1-6.
3. Submission – Eph 5:22-23.
a. Submitting to her husband’s leadership in the same way she submits to Christ.
b. She must willingly obey her husband in every thing, just as the church obeys Christ. Eph 5v24
4. Hospitality – 2 kings 4:9-10.
5. Personal grooming – Provs 31:22
6. Hard work – Prov 31v10-27 These responsibilities mean that a wife has to be a loving companion, a helper, a friend, an encourager, a confident, a supporter, a pillar, a home-maker, a mother. One who cooperates willingly with her husband in fulfilling God’s purpose for her life and the life of their family. All these translate into all kinds of tasks – meals to prepare and serve, beds to make, floors to sweep, clothes to wash and iron, shoe laces to tie, running noses to wipe and a hundred others duties. A wife who focuses on self will definitely not find joy, one who focuses on God will realize that her role as a wife is a Divine assignment and she will yield herself to God as his instrument in building up her family Prov 14:1.
One who focuses on self will be full of complaints, murmuring and self pity.
(Busola Olotu)
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